Wet Does Not Mean Ready

Being wet doesn’t mean you’re ready for penetration. 

And not being super wet doesn’t mean you’re not ready either. 

Then what? 

It’s all about erectile tissue. 

Women have erectile tissue in their genitals too. 

It’s not completely the same, it works a little different, but it engorges the tissues around the vagina nonetheless. 

For this to happen the woman needs to be aroused so that the erectile tissue fills up with blood.

This makes the vagina to open naturally. 

That’s right. When the woman is not aroused, there’s no blood in the erectile tissue of the labia and sponges around and the vagina is closed. 

When the woman is aroused, all the blood that goes through the tiny little capillaries of the erectile tissue, makes that there’s a natural opening created. 

Penetration before the erectile tissues are well supplied with blood, harms the tissue, because it’s not open enough by itself. 

Also, penetration without enough lubrication hurts the mucus membranes of the vagina. 

So how does it work with lubrication?

Mucus membranes don’t like to be touched without some kind of lubrication. It gives a kind of scratchy feeling and could even be harmful for the tissue when prolonged after the initial feeling of discomfort is ignored. 

Becoming wet as a woman is a sign that the mucus membranes are ready to be touched. 

That the clitoris is ready to be touched! 

So that the woman can become more and more aroused until the vagina naturally opens up to receive the man without any pain or discomfort. 

Or to just receive a lot of pleasure of course, because penetration in our days is not always the end goal, right?

The thing is that lubrication is not always present, especially when women are post-menopausal. That doesn’t mean she’s not aroused. 

The real sign that a woman is aroused is not just by her wetness, but really how much blood is going through her veins (capillaries in the erectile tissue). 

Wetness (or applied wetness) means ready to be touched. 

Labia and vagina being full of blood and kind-a naturally opening up means ready for penetration.

The pain and discomfort that might be experienced with penetration often comes from being entered before the body is ready to receive. 

This discomfort can cause the muscles to contract, so that penetration is prevented (maybe…), also known as vaginismus when this happens all the time when penetration is coming near. 

Because the body remembers. 

When you feel kind-a sexy and there’s a sexual tension between you and your partner, but for whatever reason you let yourself being entered too soon, the body doesn’t want this to happen again and maybe decides to preventatively contract the muscles even before penetration actually happens. 

The body also remembers in more subtle ways. 

It can be that sexy and juicy feelings start being associated with discomfort and/or pain and that the desire for sex becomes less and less until it maybe looks like it’s not there anymore. 

Or the body remembers by keeping tension in the pelvic floor muscles all the time (not healthy and can cause all kinds of health problems), or only during arousal (which is not arousing). 

Or it creates a neurological layer of numbness, so that the discomfort, but also pleasure, is not being perceived anymore.

Being entered before the body is ready doesn’t mean that sex and/or penetration can not be pleasurable anymore either. 

But I do believe that there’s a lot of pleasure potential being lost in the vagina because a lot of women have let themselves being entered too soon. 

And that this is a source of a lot of sexual health problems. 

Why didn’t we learn this with some kind of sex-ed? 

Well… female sexual anatomy has been a bit overlooked in the western medical world with the full shape of the clitoris only being fully mentioned in most of the text books since 1998. 

So let’s spread the word now and make sure all women know how their bodies work and how to make sex pleasurable. 

And yes, the little or bigger trauma of being entered too soon either by allowing it yourself or even when it was not your own choice… it can be reversed. 

You natural pleasurable sexual responses can be healed or reinstalled.  

And you might even discover layers of pleasure that you didn’t know where possible.

Curious about the tools and practices? Begin with The Foundation Practice from my Multi-Orgasmic Method, it’s free here! 

Blessings to all women.